over.

So far this is the deepest thought I ever wrote on my old blog last time. 

Imported from old blog.

Why do I constantly find myself invisible? Maybe.. I just can't be seen.

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Indeed. Everything is in a mess. How I wish I have a time machine to go back and fix things back. Mixture feelings kill me. I don't even know who am I anymore.

I tried to start anew life, forgetting whatever happened the last year but it seems like the shit goes on continuously. The same problem I have to encountered.. I don't know who can I talk to. I am just lost and helpless despite the fact that I am always happy but it feels like something is missing.

That missing piece that yet to be solved. How I wish I can just fix things back but it seems impossible. I tried so hard to overcome this but it seems like I am just a loser. I am a failure.

I'm sick and tired of being a punchbag to someone. Some certain people look for me because they need help. Well, fine I don't mind helping but it seems like I am being used. Taken advantage. I am indeed very tired of being a vending machine to everyone. I am in the midst of frustration and I wondered how can I ever overcome this..

Yeah, I know I have to solve every problem in order to get an answer but it seems like something's pulling me off. I tried and have thoughts of fixing everything but no, in reality, I am just a lost soul that is struggling to find my inner strength.

I need comfort. I need a hug. I am tired of enlightening myself all the time because it seems worthless. I tried so hard but I guess everything fails me in the end.

The times that I want is now gone. I can't get it back. I learnt that. I learnt from it.

Reflecting back makes me even more sadder, wishing I can fix this problem but I guess it's just too.. late. It seems like everything falls apart.