sunflowereigns

It was on the draft status since 2017 and I decided to publish this:-

Hi.

It's been awhile since I have last posted.

And I know it because I have been quite busy lately and of course, I kinda lost my mojo to blog.

I shall welcome back myself after a year because I'm currently have nothing to do 'till 7pm and just waiting for time to pass.

In fact, I have so many things to update for the past 1 year that I went missing but I just don't know where to start. (or maybe because I change to be more reserved?)

So what have I been up to since the day I went missing in action 'till now? Well, those people that I am close with should know what have I been doing all these while and yes, I changed. I change to be more reserved, I'm more like an introvert from an extrovert because my body can't take the hyperactive stress anymore so it has to retired (lol kidding. Just that my spirit died off), I have been focusing so much on myself in terms of the direction of where I want to go and am glad that I am doing well in that - like knowing what's best, to change my fate because I am the only person that is able to decide on my fate. Funny how a year and a few months ago I was still on the verge of finding myself - to continue working and have no future otherwise or to change my fate to go further and be brave to take consequences to make sacrifices on what I really want to achieve in my life or just remain in my comfort zone? I choose Plan B and I have no regrets.

After 3 years, I have come to decide my fate is to get that degree that I wanted. I am wayyy behind all of my friends and I know I shouldn't put the stress on myself that I am not trying hard to get it and living with regrets due to the past. I have my moments when I feel that I'm nothing like those people who have a stable family nor a perfect life to get what I really want in terms of how I want to achieve my goal but didn't know where to start. I don't see a future where I can soar. In fact, I am very glad that I went through the hardest 3 years which changed my life forever. I always tell myself that it may be hard for me to look out for the rainbow as most of my friends came out graduated, doing a degree at an age of 19, work-travel, travelling around the world, getting their dream jobs, excelling whatsoever achievements, goals in life and what I get is nothing. I gave myself a pat in the back and told myself to think about how I can choose to change my fate. If Plan A doesn't work out, go for Plan B instead. I may not be the strongest person but I know that I am brave. Without the help of some beautiful people (you guys know who you are), universities halls, classes were never in my dictionary and I would never have the chance to stepped to experience it.


Doing that 3 years, I have gain so much knowledge and understanding myself better. I can remember briefly that I couldn't tell anyone about my background, what was I doing in that past three years, figuring out myself.